Sexuality in the Bible - What Does the Song of Solomon Teach?

Many Christians grew up believing that sex is something dirty. Something you don’t talk about. Something barely tolerated in marriage - but certainly never celebrated. The Church was silent on the subject or spoke with one word: “don’t.” Don’t before marriage, don’t think about it, don’t ask.

The result? Millions of people enter marriage carrying guilt. They feel shame for the desire that God placed within them. They think spirituality and physicality are enemies - that the closer you get to God, the further you must be from the body.

But what if I told you that God placed an entire book of passionate love poetry in the Bible? A book where a husband describes his wife’s body with awe, and a wife openly expresses her desire? A book with not a single word about sin, shame, or repentance?

The Song of Solomon is a gift from God showing that sexual desire in marriage is beautiful, good, and designed by the Creator. Not merely tolerated. Not a “necessary evil” for procreation. It’s something God designed, blessed, and placed at the center of His Word.

God Created Sexuality - and Called It Good

Before we discuss the Song of Solomon, we need to go back to the very beginning. To the Garden of Eden. To the moment God created humanity - male and female.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.”

- Genesis 1:27-28 (ESV)

God created sexuality before the fall. Before sin. Before shame. Sexuality is not a consequence of original sin - it’s part of the Creator’s original, perfect design. God designed the bodies of man and woman to fit together. He designed desire, pleasure, physical attraction. And what did He say after all of this?

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.

- Genesis 1:31 (ESV)

Not “acceptable.” Not “tolerated.” Very good. That’s the Creator’s verdict on all of creation - including human sexuality.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

- Genesis 2:24-25 (ESV)

Naked and not ashamed. That is God’s design. Not shame, not covering up, not guilt - but openness, closeness, and union of bodies without any embarrassment. Shame only came after sin. It does not come from God.

The Song of Solomon - a Book That Shocks

Now let’s open the Song of Solomon. If you’ve never read it in full - brace yourself, because this book is shocking. It’s not dry theology. It’s passionate, sensual love poetry between a husband and wife.

The very first verse sets the tone for the entire book:

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine.

- Song of Solomon 1:2 (ESV)

That’s the woman speaking. Openly. Without shame. Expressing her desire for physical closeness with her husband. But that’s just the beginning. The husband describes his wife’s body with poetic wonder:

Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, that graze among the lilies.

- Song of Solomon 4:5 (ESV)

Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit. Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine, and the scent of your breath like apples.

- Song of Solomon 7:7-8 (ESV)

This is in the Bible. In Holy Scripture. In the Word of God. A husband describing his wife’s body, expressing desire, longing for physical closeness - and there is not a hint of sin in it.

The bride responds with equal openness:

His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me!

- Song of Solomon 2:6 (ESV)

My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand. His head is the finest gold; his locks are wavy, black as a raven. (…) His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.

- Song of Solomon 5:10-16 (ESV)

The woman describes her husband’s body from head to toe. She admires him. She desires him. And there is nothing inappropriate about it - this is the marital love that God wants.

For centuries, rabbis debated whether the Song of Solomon should even be included in the biblical canon. It was too passionate, too sensual. But it was included - because God wanted it there. He wanted us to know that sexuality in marriage is His gift.

Allegory or Literal Love? Why This Is NOT About Christ and the Church

For centuries, the Church tried to “rescue” the Song of Solomon by interpreting it allegorically. The husband is Christ, the wife is the Church, the breasts are the sacraments, the kisses are grace… Sounds absurd? Because that’s what it looks like when you try to impose allegory onto a text that clearly speaks of physical love.

Let’s look at specific passages:

Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful! Your eyes are doves behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead. (…) Your neck is like the tower of David. (…) Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, that graze among the lilies.

- Song of Solomon 4:1-5 (ESV)

Your navel is a rounded bowl that never lacks mixed wine. Your belly is a heap of wheat, encircled with lilies. Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle.

- Song of Solomon 7:2-3 (ESV)

Does anyone truly claim that “your navel is a rounded bowl” and “your belly is a heap of wheat” are an allegory of Christ’s relationship with the Church? That descriptions of breasts, hips, and navels represent spiritual symbolism?

His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me!

- Song of Solomon 8:3 (ESV)

My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh that lies between my breasts.

- Song of Solomon 1:13 (ESV)

These descriptions are unmistakably physical. Attempting to allegorize them requires interpretive gymnastics with no textual justification.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

- Ephesians 5:31-32 (ESV)

Paul himself points to Genesis 2:24 - not the Song of Solomon - as the allegory of marriage reflecting Christ and the Church. This distinction is crucial.

The allegorical interpretation of the Song of Solomon was popularized by Origen in the 3rd century - a theologian who castrated himself due to extreme asceticism. This is not a biblical interpretation - it’s Greek philosophy imposed onto a Hebrew text. The text speaks clearly: this is a husband and wife, their bodies, their desire, their love.

Sex Is Not Just for Procreation - It’s a Gift of Intimacy

One of the most harmful teachings that has survived in Christianity is the idea that sex exists solely for procreation. That the only purpose of intercourse is to conceive a child. That pleasure is merely a “side effect” at best.

The Bible says something completely different.

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.

- Proverbs 5:18-19 (ESV)

“Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight.” “Be intoxicated always in her love.” This is not the language of procreation - it’s the language of pleasure, wonder, intoxication. God, through Solomon, commands husbands to be intoxicated by their wives’ bodies. Not to tolerate sex as a duty. To delight in it.

And the Song of Solomon? Throughout the entire book - eight chapters of passionate poetry - there is not a single mention of children. Not one. The entire book is about desire, pleasure, and the bond between husband and wife. God deliberately placed a text about sexual pleasure in the Bible with no procreative context.

The climax comes when the bride invites her husband into the garden:

Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, let its spices flow. Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits.

- Song of Solomon 4:16 (ESV)

And then comes the verse that changes everything. The narrator - whom many biblical commentators identify as God Himself - blesses their union:

I came to my garden, my sister, my bride, I gathered my myrrh with my spice, I ate my honeycomb with my honey, I drank my wine with my milk. Eat, friends, drink, and be drunk with love!

- Song of Solomon 5:1 (ESV)

“Eat, friends, drink, and be drunk with love!” This is God’s blessing over the marital union. God does not look on with displeasure. He does not merely tolerate. He encourages. He blesses. He says: be intoxicated with one another.

Spouses Belong to Each Other - the Apostle Paul on Sex

The apostle Paul, whom many perceive as a strict ascetic, wrote some of the most revolutionary words about sexuality in marriage:

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

- 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (ESV)

In the 1st century - in a world where a woman was her husband’s property - Paul wrote that the husband does not have authority over his own body. That the husband’s body belongs to his wife just as the wife’s body belongs to her husband. This is revolutionary. Mutual authority, mutual devotion, mutual responsibility.

Furthermore, Paul says: “Do not deprive one another.” Abstinence in marriage is not a virtue - it’s opening the door to temptation. The only acceptable exception is a brief pause for prayer, by mutual agreement. Then - come together again.

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

- Hebrews 13:4 (ESV)

“Let the marriage bed be undefiled.” What happens between husband and wife is pure. Undefiled. Holy. The author of Hebrews places the marriage bed on the side of honor and purity - not on the side of sin and shame.

But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

- 1 Corinthians 7:9 (ESV)

Marriage is God’s answer to sexual desire. Not asceticism, not suppression, not guilt - but marriage, where that desire finds its full, blessed fulfillment.

Where Does the Shame Come From? Why the Church Silenced Sexuality

If the Bible speaks so clearly - where does the shame come from? Where did the belief that sex is sinful, dirty, unworthy of a spiritual person originate?

The answer is not found in Scripture. It’s found in Greek philosophy.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

- Genesis 2:25 (ESV)

Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.

- Genesis 3:7 (ESV)

Shame came after sin - not before it. In God’s design, there was no shame about the body. Shame appeared after the fall - as a consequence of separation from God.

But the shame that permeates Christianity does not come from Eden. It comes from Athens. Plato taught that the body is a prison of the soul - that matter is evil and spirit is good. This dualism seeped into Stoic philosophy, Gnosticism, and then - through the Church Fathers - into Christianity. This is just one of many examples of how human tradition replaced God’s Word and distorted the biblical message.

Augustine - one of the most influential theologians in history - taught that sexual desire is inherently evil. That sex in marriage is sinful unless it serves the purpose of conceiving a child. Jerome went even further, claiming that virginity is a higher state than marriage.

But Paul prophesied about such teachers:

Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.

- 1 Timothy 4:1-3 (ESV)

“Who forbid marriage.” Paul calls this the teaching of demons. Not God’s wisdom - demonic deception. Any teaching that presents marriage and sexuality as something lesser, inferior, or unworthy - does not come from the Bible. It comes from Greek philosophy filtered through early Christian asceticism.

Beautiful in Marriage - Without Shame

Let’s summarize what Scripture says:

God created sexuality - and called it very good. He placed the Song of Solomon in the Bible - an entire book of passionate love poetry without a single word about sin. Through Solomon, He commanded husbands to be intoxicated by their wives’ bodies. The narrator of the Song blesses the marital union: “eat, drink, and be drunk with love.” Paul gave spouses mutual authority over each other’s bodies. The author of Hebrews declared the marriage bed undefiled.

This is not a religion of shame. This is not a God who looks with disgust upon what He Himself created. This is a God who designed intimacy, blessed it, and placed it at the center of His Word.

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.

- Song of Solomon 8:6-7 (ESV)

“Love is strong as death.” “The very flame of the Lord.” This passion - this love between husband and wife, this physical, sensual, burning love - is called “the very flame of the Lord.” It belongs to God. It comes from Him.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

- Genesis 2:24-25 (ESV)

“They shall become one flesh” - this is not a poetic metaphor for spiritual unity. It describes sexual penetration. The moment two bodies physically become one. God describes the sexual act - and surrounds it with the context of leaving family, bonding with a wife, and the absence of shame. Notice the sequence: a man leaves his parents, holds fast to his wife, they become one flesh. Leaving home, starting a family, having sex - that is marriage in God’s eyes. No ceremony. No priest. No ring. No legal document. A man and a woman who have left their parents and joined together sexually - are married in the eyes of God. Sex is not an addition to marriage - sex is marriage. It is the act that, in God’s eyes, makes two people one flesh.

Naked. One flesh. Not ashamed. This is God’s design from the beginning - and nothing has changed.